


Effulgence

by CrystalBunnyz



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-03-08 19:59:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3221528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalBunnyz/pseuds/CrystalBunnyz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon and Killua are just typical kids going to a typical school dealing with typical drama. Mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh, Shit.

Gon could admit that he didn’t necessarily care for coffee. He really, really didn’t, but if there was something he had a weak spot for, it was seeing Killua drink it, especially if he did indeed look like he’d just rolled out of bed and needed a hot cup of that godawful piss-tasting drink. Maybe it was the way that Killua would sigh after taking the mug away from his lips, or the way his shoulders would relax as it finally reached his lips, or how he sometimes flinches when the hotness touches his lips sooner than he expected—regardless, Gon just knew…

Well, he knew he had it bad.

“Can I get a frappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce?”

As always, Killua has to get something that is so terribly sweet—to be honest, sweeter than anything Gon would prefer. They stood there and waited patiently after Gon asked for a very simple hot chocolate.

“There’s a math test today, right?” Gon asked Killua.

“Yeah, it’s over chapter seven,” Killua responded. “You… didn’t study, did you?”

Gon laughed a little, shrugging. “I’m not that great with numbers.”

“As if that's an excuse, idiot. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t try,” Killua muttered, shaking his head.

“I never said I didn’t try to though, Killua!”

"Mmhm, right, and I certainly don't see you during math class with steam blowing out your ears."

"I never have steam blowing out my ears!"

“Don’t worry about it, Gon,” Killua said with a devilish grin. He patted Gon’s head. “If you do you might blow something in there.”

“Killua!” Gon whined, making the dorkiest, dumbest, and most certainly _not_ the cutest pout Killua had ever seen.

Killua pulled his hand back and smiled to himself as Gon started blubbering on about something ridiculous, like how it’s not possible for something to _blow_ in there necessarily, but Killua could admit that he wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying but rather to how he used his entire body to speak. His arms, eyes, eyebrows, fuck, even his legs sometimes. Like a half step forward or a little stomp in defiance, or a cute little jig when he’s just that goddamn excited or happy.

“Killua, Gon? Your order is ready,” the barista called over to the boys. Killua all too eagerly went over to get his, taking a sip and sighing in contentment. It was everything he ever wanted.

Gon didn’t get his until he saw that Killua was alright with his. He reached over and took his drink for himself, turning back to Killua. He was taking a drink of his frappucino with extra cream and whatever it was, but that wasn't it. His eyes were closed, content, with the most gentle expression on his face and the smallest smile gracing those lips of his. He let out a little moan of approval, as though that drink were the best thing that ever happened to him, looking down at the lid before indulging in another drink.

Gon's heart skipped a beat.

 _Oh, shit._ He gulped down a nervous drink of his hot chocolate. _I have it bad._


	2. Functions

“—then you take that twenty-six and subtract it from eight to get negative eighteen. You divide the three from _a_ and from negative eighteen to get negative six,” Killua explained to Gon. He was writing out a math problem to help Gon study for the math test later in the day.

Gon was… well, lost, he but he was trying his damndest to keep up with him.

“Okay,” Gon replied, “Can I try the next one on my own?”

“Yeah,” Killua flipped to the next page of their textbook, reading it a bit before he pointed at question forty-nine. The odd questions had answers in the back of the book after all. A good thing to have if you’re studying. “We can try that one.”

It was simple for Killua. The chapter was over functions—it was easy enough for him to grasp. Gon, on the other hand, needed a little help. That’s why they were studying now during their lunch in the library. Killua wanted to help Gon get a better grade in math. This was going to be a large test. Over one hundred points, but no more than one hundred and thirty, or something like that. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t like listening to the teacher when she wasn’t teaching and was instead just lecturing about how _important_ her tests were.

“…Killua?”

“Hm?”

“Did you get seven?”

Killua looked over at his work. “Yeah, but… it has to be positive _or_ negative. That's this symbol here,” he pointed at his own paper. “It’ll technically be counted half-wrong because it can also be negative.”

“Oh, darn,” Gon pouted.

“But you got the same thing I did! Let’s check it,” Killua reached for the math book and flipped it to the back, searching for chapter seven, problem forty-nine.

“We got it right,” Killua announced.

Gon beamed, almost bouncing out of his chair in pure delight. His smile was practically ear-to-ear and brightened up the entire area around him. It was impossible for Killua not to smile back. It was that infectious and if it used to annoy Killua… well, it didn’t now. At all.

Quite the opposite, to be honest.

“Okay, okay, let’s try another, okay?” Gon insisted. Killua glanced at the clock. They had enough time to go through another.

“Alright, let’s try this one. It’s longer, but it’s the same concept that you just did and this is the kind you were having the most trouble with, right?” Killua asked.

“Yeah, putting functions into functions, I think? Everything else I can… hopefully get right. This is what I didn’t get on Friday,” Gon nodded, looking over the problem.

They worked through the problem. Killua more easily than Gon, but Gon made good progress. “Killua… is the _f_ of _x_ negative eight?”

“Yeah, that’s what I got.”

“Ooh!” Gon kicked his feet around on the ground. “Okay, so then _g_ of _y_ is… six?”

“I think so. Let’s check it.”

“I will!” Gon reached for the book instead, finding the page that Killua looked at earlier to see if their answers were correct. “We were right!”

“That’s good,” Killua replied. He reached over for the book and flipped back to the chapter, going through it. “Do you think you have it all down for now?”

“I… hope I do. But thank you Killua! I think I’ll do better on this test since you helped me study,” Gon said brightly, looking Killua straight in the eye.

Though looking Killua straight in the eye was a good way to make him look away in embarrassment. “I… well, you said Mito was getting onto you for your grade so…” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So… what, Killua? You still helped me.”

“I know. You’re, uh, welcome.” It was always a struggle for Killua to get used to Gon.

“Come on, we should try to look—” Gon was rudely interrupted by the bell signaling that their lunch was unfortunately over. “Oh.”

“Well, we might have a couple of minutes before the test to study, so we could try to do that quickly then?” Killua suggested.

Gon nodded enthusiastically, standing up and gathering his things before tossing his backpack around his shoulder. “Okay! I’ll see you then, I guess.”

“Alright,” Killua responded, watching Gon bounce away. His class was on the other side of the school after all. He couldn’t waste any time waiting. He was never late. Killua… well, he could care less. He slowly gathered his things and sighed, shoving them into his own backpack and slinging it onto his shoulder.

Gon was going to be the goddamn death of him and he was eighty percent positive that the little shit knew it too.


	3. Do You Even Listen?

“Killua.”

Gon received no response. Maybe he’d try again.

“Killua.”

Still, no response. Gon sighed.

“ _Killua_.”

“Mm?”

“I’m _bored_. We should go do something fun,” Gon suggested.

“Not yet,” Killua said shortly. “I’m not done.” 

“Fine,” Gon huffed, sitting back in his chair impatiently while Killua sipped at a giant ice cream shake-sundae-whatever thing he had ordered. It was like a “monstrous ice cream sundae shake melt” or something like that. He didn’t know. He just knew Killua wanted to come here badly, so they did, if nothing else because Gon couldn’t’ say no to Killua when he was craving sweets. That kind of Killua was admittedly kind of scary.

But that didn’t change the fact that he was so damn _bored_.

“Hey, Killua?”

“Yes, Gon?” Killua asked in turn, almost sounding annoyed before his icy eyes slanted up to look at him.

God, Gon really hated making eye contact with him. It made it hard for him to remember what he was going to say. So, as a result, he usually ended up saying something dumb.

“I don’t think I did well on the math test,” Gon admitted.

Killua looked up at him after taking one last sip from the straw and cocked his head to the side. “Why not? We got a couple of minutes to study before it started. You seemed like you were doing alright there. And you got done with your test before most of the class.”

“Yeah, but… I just don’t feel like I did great? I mean, you helped a lot and I think I got most of the last half right at least.”

“That’s at least fifty percent, you know,” Killua suggested. “That, and you could have gotten partial credit on the others, regardless of whether or not you got the right answer. If you have the work right and just switched a number or two, you do get some credit for doing the right thing.”

“Well, yeah, I just… I don’t know.”

Killua reached over and flicked his forehead. “Math isn’t your strongest subject. That’s okay, you know.”

“Says you,” Gon replied teasingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so great at everything, Killua,” Gon admitted without missing a beat. “You always get good grades in every class you have and even when you do bad on a test, your grade never tanks like mine does.”

Killua shrugged a little. “Well, you do really well in gym and biology.”

“But you do well in _all_ of them. I mean, sometimes your focus isn’t as great as it could be…”

“Says _you_!” Killua accused fiercely.

“I wasn’t done!” Gon whined defensively. “But you never get in trouble for it.”

“You don’t get in trouble either, though.”

“I guess,” Gon sighed. Several moments passed in silence.

“…I’m done, Gon.”

“Hm?”

“I’m done with this,” Killua repeated, motioning towards his empty glass that had his ice cream-whatever in it.

“Oh! Then what do you want to do now?”

“…Maybe we could just go to the park?”

“Okay! Do you want to go and pick up Alluka or…?”

Killua considered that a moment. “I think I’d rather it just be us today.”

Gon tilted his head at the words, but smiled nonetheless. “Alright. Let’s go, Killua!” He stood up, reaching over and grabbing Killua’s wrist and yanking him to his feet just to drag him out the door and take off in a run down the street.

“Gon, wait! We didn’t pay for it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... honestly took longer than it should have, especially since it's just so damn short. But I do have good news. The rating might go up pretty soon. I can only indulge in fluff alone for so long before I get bored. Are you excited for it? Because I am.


	4. Behind Closed Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for child abuse.
> 
> I'll say it again.
> 
> _Trigger warning for child abuse._

Killua couldn’t sleep. He could barely breathe. His arms hurt, fuck, he knew they would bruise, they always did. But the pain didn’t bother him much—it was just how he would be able to cover up some of the bruises he had on other parts of his body that worried him. Or, rather, it was the fact that he was so scared of a certain _someone_ finding them and asking him about them.

Because damn it all to hell, he can’t fucking lie to Gon’s face. Thinking about the way he would look at him finding out that he was being hit by his parents—that chilled him to his bone. Gon is a really nice guy. He knew that. But he’s seen how protective he can get of the people he cares about. God forbid Mito go out at night alone, at least.

He didn’t need to know about Illumi, either.

“Big brother?” A voice called from the other side of his door. They turned the knob. “It’s me, Alluka, brother! You can unlock your door.”

Killua stared at his white wooden door for a beat before he slowly slid off of his bed and sauntered over to the door. He grabbed the knob and flicked the lock on it to the side and pulled it open.

Alluka stood there in her pajamas with her hair a mess, like she’d just rolled out of bed. She probably did. She didn’t get to leave the house much.

“Come on, get in here,” Killua muttered, reaching over to her and leading her in quickly. He shut the door firmly behind her and locked it. He didn’t trust his parents, or any of his other siblings for that matter. Or the butlers. He didn’t want them in his room, not right now. Shit, not ever, to be honest.

“Are you okay?” Alluka asked him, looking him in the eye.

Killua thought very carefully about his answer. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just made Mom cry, that’s all,” he responded with a smile. “But how are you feeling? You’ve been sick recently.”

“You made Mom cry? She always cries when you leave the house,” Alluka tilted her head, blatantly ignoring his not-so-subtle attempt at changing the subject. “Even just to go to school.”

“Oh, well,” Killua shrugged a little, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his flannel pajama pants. “I guess she’s just extra emotional today. Dad was mad.”

“Did something happen today?”

Killua didn’t respond at first. “No, nothing happened. They just… found out about some things, honestly. Grades and stuff.”

“…You’re lying. Why are you lying?”

He hated that. He hated that she saw so easily through that even though his pause gave him away. He hated the way that she would look at him afterwards; her large eyes showing nothing but her concern and how much she cared about what was happening to him because she never broke her eye contact. He hated how she would bite her lip while she waited for his answer and dammit, he hated that he always had to give her something or manage to completely distract her from him in order to get her to let it be.

“Let it go, Alluka,” Killua eventually said, reaching over and putting his hand on her cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“But your arm is bruised here,” she reached up and brushed her fingers over a particularly dark bruise. He remembered clearly getting that from trying to walk away. “And your face is swollen here.” Her hand moved up to lightly touch his jaw.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you really though, brother?” Alluka looked so worried that it made Killua’s insides melt.

“It’s fine, Alluka. It’s okay, I’m okay, and we’re okay.”

“I don’t like that they do that to you.”

“I don’t like what they do to you, either. I hate that more than what they do to me.” Killua reached for her and pulled her into a hug. “Now come on, let’s do something more fun, alright?”

Alluka looked at him before she smiled and nodded excitedly. “Alright!”

“How does Minecraft sound?”

“Okay! Can we go back to the world we were in last time with the tower I was building?”

“Alright, but we need to be quiet. They can’t know we’re awake.”

“I know. Then we’d both get in trouble,” Killua replied, flipping on the TV and Xbox. After setting up everything, they returned to the world they aptly named, ‘Greed Island.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wait until the chapter after the next for things that aren't fluffy but are more like... lemons. Isn't that what we used to call it back in like, 2007 or something? I remember that. I also remember reading shitty fics on Quizilla and taking stupid seven minutes in heaven quizzes and _keeping up with them_. God help me, I'm old.


	5. Well, That Was Awkward

“I’m impressed by the scores I saw for this test, given the lack of participation I’ve had in class recently. There weren’t very many people who got below a seventy,” the teacher droned, walking through the aisles of desks handing back the packets of papers lined with red. “Some were better than others, but I think that you all got a rather good grasp on this chapter. We’ll go through the test and make sure that I graded everything correctly and I’ll answer any questions you have about the questions as well. I’ll make sure to go over number fourteen particularly thoroughly because a lot of people got it wrong.”

Gon was just sitting and barely listening, head resting in his hand as he looked over his test once she passed and handed it to him. He did well, overall. Much better than it could have been, or rather, than they have been. He got a seventy nine. He smiled to himself and glanced over to the empty desk next to him.

Killua wasn’t here.

“Alright, so the answer to number one was that _x_ equals positive or negative eight. Can someone explain how we got that answer?” The teacher looked around the room. “Kurapika, maybe you can?”

That’s whenever Gon stopped listening. He didn’t care about the test. He was just concerned about Killua.

It wasn’t that it was necessarily _impossible_ for Killua to miss school, it was just… not very often that he did. And he was fine yesterday. Mostly. His face almost heated up at thinking about it, shifting in his seat uncomfortably before he glanced up at the teacher.

May as well not think about that right now.

“We’ll continue this after lunch,” the teacher announced, glancing at the clock. “If you have any questions pertaining to a particular answer you have and don’t want to discuss it in front of the class, feel free to talk to me now.”

Gon leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. Maybe food could help him get his mind off of everything.

Though as if he could be so lucky.

“Man, I thought I did great on the test but then I had to ask _you_ what you got,” Gon heard someone whine from behind him.

“Unlike you, I probably bothered to study for this test as well as the one in biology.”

“I have my priorities! The schools are more likely to pay attention to what you get in the classes that reflect what they teach, Kurapika.”

“Failing this class won’t get you any closer to medical school, Leorio.”

“Well,” Leorio huffed, pushing his chair back and stepping into the aisle and walking away from the blond shit. “Come on, Gon, let’s go get some food.”

Gon looked up from his seat to see his terribly tall, bespectacled friend standing next to him. He smiled and stood up himself, pushing his chair back in and walking with Leorio and Kurapika out into the hallway.

“Hey Gon,” Kurapika started, walking faster to be next to him. “Do you know what happened to Killua? He seemed fine yesterday.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gon replied, shrugging. “We went to the park yesterday after having ice cream. He, uh… said that the ice cream made his stomach upset.”

“That’s surprising given his eating habits in the first place,” Leorio chimed in. “He eats sweets like that for every meal I’d say.”

“Not always!” Gon protested. “Sometimes I see him eat, like… well, burgers…”

“That’s not much better, Gon.”

“It’s… something?”

“No, but, Gon, you really don’t know why he’s not here?” Leorio asked him.

“Well, no, not really. Yesterday at the park, his brother and his brother’s uh… friend or boyfriend—it was hard to tell what they were—well, they came too, but nothing really happened! I don’t know. Things were weird.”

“What do you mean, Gon?”

“I don’t know. It was just weird. Can we get food now? I’m hungry.” Gon insisted, walking a little bit faster away from the two of his friends. Kurapika and Leorio exchanged confused glances, but didn’t press on the matter further.

Something happened that Gon didn’t want to talk about.

The three of them turned and started down the stairs, descending them slowly as Leorio and Kurapika bantered as they normally do. It was then that the whole world felt like it slowed down. Gon’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes couldn’t leave the two students walking up the stairs next to him.

They were both so tall compared to him, though one was clothed in bright, godawful clothing that barely matched yet definitely did with majestic hair colored pink and purple styled in a way it defied gravity while the other was dressed much more calmly, his hair flowing somehow so gracefully behind him, though the locks reminded Gon of the snakes he’d find in the woods that were more dangerous than the average garter snakes you find in your backyard. Their devious, slanted eyes never left Gon while they passed.

Once Gon reached the bottom of the staircase, his breath finally left him in a relieved sigh. That was terribly awkward, weird, and damn him, he had no idea that Killua's siblings went here, which in retrospect felt like a stupid thing to assume.

“Gon?” Kurapika’s voice brought Gon out of his thoughts, startling him in the process. “…Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah! I was just wondering what I should eat for lunch. Come on, let’s go eat,” Gon replied brightly, grabbing Kurapika and Leorio’s wrists and leading them down the hallway. They didn’t believe him, but they let themselves be dragged at a faster pace towards the cafeteria.

The lunchroom was bustling with students, but they wanted to make sure that they actually got a table together, so Leorio stayed behind at the table with his lunchbox and waited for his friends to emerge with their food.

“I only got that grade because of Killua,” Gon said. He sat down at the table and started stabbing his fork into some floppy mystery meat that the school tried to label as fish. “He helped me out a lot after school a couple of days ago and helped me before the test yesterday.”

“That’s nice of him. And… surprising for you? You don’t normally focus that much on studying, Gon,” Kurapika admitted.

“Well, Mito really wants me to get my grades up. I asked Killua to help me with that. Oh, speaking of that though, can you help me with my English essay?"

“Oh, sure.”

“Oh, and Kurapika?”

“Yes, Gon?”

“Can you help me find a topic for it? It’s due the day after tomorrow…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, promise, _promise_ we'll get more details in the next chapter. It'll be great fun.
> 
> Maybe.


	6. Permafrost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised, and I mostly delivered.
> 
> _Mostly._ You'll see.

The park was already covered in a thick untouched blanket of white. The equipment was thoroughly buried by it, smooth and beautiful. The snow was only a couple of inches deep and was still falling, but like hell that was going to dissuade a couple of rowdy teenagers from going and playing in it.

Gon was already climbing up the combination set of equipment, taking the stairs up to climb a pole that connected up to the roof. The grip was slippery, but Gon has managed on soaked smooth rocks near rivers before so this was practically no challenge at all—the worst he would have had to worry about was falling in snow for crying out loud. He moved atop the roof, swinging his feet up and planting them firmly in the disturbed patch of white, peering down at Killua.

Gon’s heart felt heavy as he watched Killua run fluidly up the slide, his feet barely sliding despite the snow that rested delicately yet dangerously on it. The calculative look in his eye as he put one foot in front of the other and the way his hands would flex as he gripped the side of the slide and then the bar above it—Gon’s stomach fluttered in response, flipping easily and making him feel equally queasy and fond.

Those eyes moved up to meet Gon’s.

“I didn’t know it was supposed to snow today,” Killua said, crossing his arms.

“Couldn’t you tell?” Gon asked, tilting his head. “The cold front got here around ten this morning.”

“You actually pay attention to that kind of stuff?” Killua looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile.

“Well, you can usually tell if you look outside,” Gon replied. He scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. “Though I guess it doesn’t matter. I like the snow.”

“I do too.”

They stood there in silence for several moments, watching the flakes float from the sky and vanish once they hit the snow already on the ground.

“Gon?”

“Yea—” A snowball hitting him in his shoulder stopped him cold, almost knocking him off balance. He immediately shot his gaze down towards Killua, who was laughing and pointing. Well, Gon would show him. He reached down and grabbed a handful, mashing it all together before he chucked it straight down at Killua, nailing him right in the chest. Close enough for now. Gon laughed, reaching down to grab more ammunition, mashing it between his hands as he stretched back up straight.

Killua didn’t wait to retaliate. He grabbed a handful of snow and threw it back at him. Gon ducked down and it missed, only to be met with one straight in his face. Gon wailed, immediately wiping it off. That’s when he knew it was fucking war.

He let himself slide down on his ass, falling off of the roof. He landed on his feet and turned straight on his heel and threw his well-formed snowball at Killua. The slippery little bastard ducked back behind a pole, the ball flying well past him and crashing into the snow behind the equipment. Killua slid down his slide, running his hand along it as he went to gather some more.

Gon didn’t let him pack it up though. He had already formed a particularly large one and smashed it on Killua’s head, laughing maniacally as he started to run away. Killua pursued.

If there was one thing that Killua was, however, it was fast.

Killua leaped and tackled Gon right down to the snow covered ground. “I fucking got you,” he laughed.

“No, you don’t,” Gon retorted, rolling them so that Killua’s back was braced against the snow instead.

“Oh, hell no!” Killua growled, bristling like a cat sprayed with water. He shoved Gon back and forced him onto his back, shoving snow onto his face to see how he liked that one.

“Mmph!”

Gon’s kneejerk reaction was to sit up. At first, he was confused as to why there was pressure on his face. Then he was confused as to why it was so hot.

Then he realized he was kissing Killua.

He blinked, mind still reeling to try to keep up with the sudden turn of events. His amber eyes met Killua’s icy blue ones—damn, were they always so fucking beautiful?—and they appeared just as confounded as he was.

But he didn’t pull away.

Gon tentatively moved forward just a little more, his lips moving ever so slightly, testing the waters. Killua still didn’t move. Instead, it seemed more like he was analyzing what Gon was doing.

He took that as an okay to continue. He moved his lips more fluidly, softly, trying to help Killua relax as well as himself. It was then that Killua began to respond. He seemed more nervous than he was though. Killua’s breathing was shaking, uneven.

“Is this okay?” Gon asked softly, pulling back just a few centimeters. His breath fanned out against Killua’s terribly pink, terribly hot face.

Killua said nothing, instead leaning forward and kissing him once more.

Everything exploded; lips gnashed and met with a fierce intensity, hands grasping and pulling at each other without reservation. They were lost, so lost, yet so there, just there with each other and that was so much more than enough, but _shit_ , not nearly enough. Teeth scraped painfully and tongues clashed and cut against teeth, the hint of something metallic slipped into each other’s tastes, making them that much more eager, that much more desperate. A moan escaped his lips—whose? It was hard to say—and that only egged them both on. They couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop, not even when curious hands moved under coats and along thighs.

Gon was the one who tore away first, but not for long, immediately pecking his way down Killua’s neck, biting and nipping away at his pale skin. He tore the scarf Killua wore away from his neck and tossed it haphazardly away; it was in the fucking way. Killua keened, his body arching into Gon’s and he pulled him impossibly closer.

“Gon,” Killua gasped.

Gon let out an animalistic growl in response, an arm wrapping itself tightly around Killua’s waist and trapping him there, and fuck, Killua was perfectly okay with that. Gon’s teeth left bright red marks in their wake and he knew they would bruise, but that was also okay, he was bruised a lot everywhere and this was just fine. Gon’s free hand slid and massaged Killua’s thigh, sliding all around it before resting just under the cleft of his ass.

“More,” Gon whispered against Killua’s neck.

“I—oh, shit, Gon, stop,” Killua suddenly pulled away, breathless and flushed all the way down his neck and up to his ears.

Gon blinked. “Killua?”

“I—oh, hey, Illumi,” Killua laughed nervously, snatching his scarf from the ground and standing away from Gon.

Gon didn’t understand until he looked behind him. There were two people standing there and apparently, one of them was named Illumi.

“Kil,” Illumi said. Was that supposed to be a greeting?

“Um… I take it that I should go home,” Killua’s eyes flicked down at Gon before they went back to one of the people standing not too far off. They made Gon very wary. The one with black hair didn’t even spare the time to look at Gon. His friend with the weird pastel fiery hair did though, and Gon wished he hadn’t.

“I was sent out to look for you since the weather was getting nasty. We should go, Kil,” the black haired guy told him. He reminded Gon of a robot.

“…Right,” Killua replied. “I’ll see you later, Gon. I need to go home before my parents have a hernia.”

Gon had to actually think to remember how to use his voice. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Killua?”

“Sure,” Killua replied, smiling at him. “Alright, you can stop glaring at me, I’m going…”

Killua walked over to the black haired guy, glancing back at Gon with one last smile before he walked away with him. The eccentric-looking guy followed suit, sparing one last look back at Gon before turning his attention utterly away from him.

Gon couldn’t even think to move for several moments.

He literally just made out with Killua Zoldyck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a slight flashback chapter, to be honest. Also, will that suffice for what I attempted to promise earlier? I didn't intend for this scene to be up yet, but I think I did well this chapter.
> 
> It was so much fun. Give me more excuses to have messy makeouts in the snow. Yum.


	7. Oh, Fuck.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no, get _away from me you dirty piece of shit_ ,” Killua chanted frantically. “No! I just built that you piece of— _you blew it up_!”

Next to him, Alluka giggled. Xbox controllers were in their hands and Killua had nearly thrown his across the room in frustration.

“It’s okay, brother! It didn’t destroy much,” Alluka said to him, looking over at him before she turned her attention back to the castle she was building.

Killua pouted, moving his character to look at the wreckage. “I couldn’t even tell you how I got that redstone to work, let alone build all of that structure again. This isn’t fair.”

“At least you didn’t accidentally hit an enderman when you were trying to fend off a creeper and it killed you and you lost all of your stone that you just smelted, which was, you know, over three stacks.”

“Well, _still_. I spent so long with that and it just…”

“You’ll figure it out! You always do,” Alluka replied brightly. It was that sort of tone that really made Killua happy.

“Yeah… sure,” Killua muttered awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “Anyway, Alluka, it’s getting late. I got to stay home and play this with you today, but tomorrow I have to go back. So… you should probably go back to your room and sleep.”

Alluka frowned, but nodded in reluctant agreement. “Fine. But brother?”

“Yes?”

“…Make sure you actually sleep,” she responded, leaning over and kissing his cheek as she stood up.

“Right,” Killua replied, looking up at her. She stared him down for a solid thirty seconds before she slowly turned and started walking towards his door. He could have sighed in relief when she was finally out though.

Her stares were menacing.

He saved the game and shut off the Xbox, standing up and turning off the television as well. Since he was already in his pajamas, there was no reason to change. There was no reason to go to the bathroom either since he didn’t need to use it.

But he really, really didn’t want to sleep. Sleeping meant that his mind could do something weird—fuck, it could make him dream about _that_. He didn’t want to think about that. Thinking about that meant that things would have to change.

And he didn’t want anything to change. Not when it came to one of the few good things that ever happened to him in his life.

Killua raised his hand and lightly traced some of the bruises on his neck. They were so tender, so much more than any other bruise he’d had in his entire life. He also knew they were dark. Hell, he knew they would be from the start when Gon was—

His face flushed and he buried it in his hands. No. Stop thinking about it.

But he couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how Gon’s hands held him so close to him, or how they touched parts of him that no one had ever touched before, or how his lips felt against his. Gon’s lips had been chapped as all hell, but so soft and equally rough and it was just so nice. The tongue thing was weird, but not unpleasant, and he’d ultimately decided that Gon tasted like maple, or something… natural. Up close he’d smelled like _Gon_ , with no other way to describe it other than just that. He smelled like himself, and that was so utterly intoxicating and Killua already wanted more from him. And Killua wasn’t naïve; he knew exactly what he wanted. It wasn’t like he hadn’t dreamed about it before.

“Fuck me,” Killua groaned, tossing himself onto his bed and burying his face in his pillow. He had no idea how he was going to handle himself around Gon now.

He’d have to figure out a way before tomorrow; that was for sure. All because the first class of the day was English, and they have it together. He almost laughed at himself. Because that was going to go well. Gon probably hadn’t even started on…

“Oh, _fuck_ , I have an essay due tomorrow!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, procrastination. My English teacher in my junior year of high school had a very great thing to say about that very thing.
> 
> "Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good until you realize you just fucked yourself in the end."
> 
> Also, I apologize for it being short. I'm sick again.


	8. If Only

“Are you sure you want to do this, Gon? Won’t Mito get mad for you being out this late?” Killua asked.

Gon was leading Killua by the hand outside in the forest, taking him somewhere special. They were both in pajamas, having escaped from Mito’s after she had gone to bed. It was ridiculous to Killua, but Gon had desperately wanted to do this, and he had always found it hard to tell the little shit no, especially once he started to get that excited. This was certainly no exception.

Ridiculous.

“It’ll be fine, Killua,” Gon reassured him, squeezing the hand he held. He could feel the skeptical look on his back.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am! Come on, I want to show this to you,” Gon pulled him a little faster.

“What is it that you want to show me, Gon?”

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

“Gon,” Killua protested, though he didn’t withdraw his hand from his. He let himself be lead onwards, careful of his footing lest he trip or step on something that would hurt because Gon was impulsive and dragged them out of the house, you know, _without_ shoes.

That was a fantastic idea, apparently.

“I promise you’ll like it, Killua,” Gon insisted, pulling him alongside him. “We’re almost there anyway.”

“But we’ve been walking _forever_ ,” Killua whined.

“But we’re almost there,” Gon replied in an equally whiny voice, grinning back at him. Killua made a show of rolling his eyes, which Gon pointedly ignored. He’d see reason soon. Killua always had to make things difficult.

Several moments passed in comfortable silence, Gon leading him on with Killua following without protest.

“I hear water. What are you showing me?” Killua asked.

“You’ll see Killua! Come on, just through these bushes, I promise!” Gon pushed the leaves to the side and let Killua pass through first, following straight behind him. He quickly moved to be able to see the expression on his face, and upon turning to look at him, Gon’s breath caught in his throat.

The moonlight bathed an empyreal luminescence onto Killua, his white hair casting a faint halo around his head. His eyes were wide in wonder, the normal bright oceanic eyes becoming muted, yet deeper with the light feeding into them and it reminded Gon of the color of the sea before dawn. His lips were parted just so slightly and curved upwards in a smile that made Gon’s heart flutter uncontrollably.

The scenery itself held not a candle to the beauty that was Killua.

“Killua?”

“Yes, Gon?”

“I…,” Gon hesitated, which made Killua turn his attention to him instead of the water and woods in front of them. It made Gon’s voice get stuck in his throat.

“Is something wrong?” Killua looked so concerned. That look didn’t belong on his face. It should be smiling.

“Well, no, not exactly. I just… I don’t know how to say it without sounding like an idiot.”

“Well, Gon, you’re accomplishing that already.”

“…Helpful.”

“But Gon, what is it?”

Gon bit his lip contemplatively before he took in a deep breath and reassured himself that he could do this. Maybe even without stuttering.

“Killua, I really like you!” He blurted out. It seemed so forceful, but the way he saw Killua’s expression freeze up for just that beat before it melted…it seemed that it was alright.

“Gon,” Killua started, but eventually shook his head and reached over and grabbed Gon’s hand, pulling him close. Gon’s stomach did a flip, or maybe several, his breathing halting and his heart gave a start at the contact between their bodies. It felt surreal, so warm, so comforting. Killua was leaning in and Gon’s only thought was _it’s happening again, dear everything holy, it’s happening again_ , their breath fanning across their faces. His lips felt like a feather at first, so soft, so light, so perfect. They met fully and Gon let out a content, happy groan that made Killua yank him closer, crushing him to his body. They stayed like that for several moments, kissing deeply and warmly.

Killua was the one who pulled back first and stared into Gon’s eyes, a smile so gently crossed on his face that Gon thought he could die from looking at it.

“Gon, I…”

The blaring sound of an alarm shocked Gon out of his dream, heart pounding in his chest. His hand slammed down several times until he hit the button atop the infernal machine, glaring at the ceiling. Dammit. God _fucking_ dammit. He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into his pillow, grunting loudly.

It was just a dream after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness gravy, it took so much longer than it should have. Writer's block is an awful thing indeed.


	9. Typical.

Killua woke up at six that morning, eyes cracking slightly as the alarm next to his bed rang out in an annoying chime that usually didn’t leave him feeling so bitter. He rolled and slammed his hand onto it, silencing it, slipping his arm back under the blanket.

It was cold.

He tucked himself further into the bed, burying his face into his pillow. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to get up and face whatever the hell was going to come at him today. He hoped that the bruises were healed—those would be difficult to hide and lie about.

That’s when he heard someone knock at his door before it was opened without Killua giving whoever it was permission.

“Kil.”

It was Illumi.

“…What?” Killua grumbled, rolling a bit to peer over at the cracked door.

“School was cancelled.”

“…Say again?”

“It’s a snow day. They called it today.”

“Oh.”

With that, Illumi left. Killua sighed, glad that he hadn’t bothered to stick around and slowly moved to sit up. He fumbled around before he finally caught the cord of his phone charger, grabbing it and looking at it. Naturally it felt like he was staring at the sun.

He smiled slightly.

He had an entire inbox full of photos and texts from Gon.

‘Hey Killua, we don’t have school today! Look at the snow!’

Attached was a picture of Gon’s front yard covered in a blanket of knee-deep snow dyed the light pink from the sunrise.

‘You’re still asleep, aren’t you?’

‘We haven’t talked in a few days. I think we should meet up today.’

‘Wake up, Killua!’

‘Come on, sleepyhead.’

‘I wanna see you today, and snow is always fun. Remember last year?’

Oh dear. Last year. Killua flushed slightly. He tapped the screen and the keyboard popped up, but his fingers hovered over the letters hesitantly.

How the hell was he going to explain himself about the other day? That his family really didn’t want him to be… well, gay?

He huffed in frustration and sat his phone down, rolling onto his side away from it. He couldn’t face him today. Maybe he would wait until school was in session again. But if they actually bothered to call it, it probably did more than just snow. It probably iced a bit.

His phone vibrated.

It didn’t stop. He turned back and grabbed it, sliding his finger across it to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Killua!”

Oh, _shit_.

“Hey, Gon,” Killua greeted sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He… hadn’t expected it to be Gon.

“I just wanted to see if you were awake! You should look outside!” Gon said cheerily from the other side of the line, and Killua heard several footsteps echoing behind his voice. He assumed he was walking around his home.

“Alright, alright,” Killua grumbled, standing up and walking to his window. He pushed the curtain out of the way and blinked. “Oh, we got a lot of snow, didn’t we?”

“Seven inches with a fourth of an inch of ice on top of that. It’s just snowing now. But yeah, we should _definitely_ hang out today.”

“If you insist.”

“Well, I do!” He could practically hear the pout in Gon’s voice. “I haven’t seen you in, like, forever.”

“It’s just been a couple of days.”

“ _Forever_ ,” Gon repeated.

“Right, forever,” Killua conceded, a hint of a smile twitching at his lips. Gon was impossible.

“At least we don’t have school today; I didn’t finish that paper we were supposed to write.”

“Gon, that was due yesterday.”

There was a beat of silence. Killua could almost feel the panic through the phone.

“I’m joking!” Killua exclaimed. “I promise, I’m joking.”

“God, Killua, you scared me a minute there.”

“Well, do you have it done yet?”

“Almost…”

“How close is ‘almost?’”

“Uh…I have it about halfway done when I was having Kurapika help me…”

“Then you should finish it and then we can hang out.”

“But Killua!”

“No buts! You need to do that or else Mito will have your head, you know, again.”

“I know. But _Killua_ …”

“No! You need to finish it. You can call me when it’s done and you have to read me the entire last page so I know it is done.”

“Oh, you’re so mean, Killua.”

“Well, if you want to hang out, get to it then!”

“…Fine,” Gon muttered in defeat.

“Talk to you later,” Killua said in a sickly sweet voice before hanging up. He smiled widely and walked back over to his bed, sitting down and pulling his feet underneath him. He always won arguments like that with Gon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry that it took so long to get this out. Hopefully I'll have the next one done sooner this time around.


	10. Gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon's about as graceful as a bull in a china shop sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just a few months late, huh?

The snow had piled an extra inch on top of the half a layer of ice plus seven some odd inches of the fluffy white goodness underneath that during the morning hours after Gon had called Killua. Though reluctant to the idea, he had eventually received a call from Gon saying that he’d finished his paper. _I said I would,_ Gon had whined loudly, and Killua had indeed promised. So he and Gon were sitting on a bus that was heading towards the town square, intending to go to their favorite coffee shop and then wander the little stores around it. Killua had to get something for Alluka’s birthday; it was coming up soon and he wanted to get the gift before he ran out of time. Other than that, he had no idea what he and Gon planned on doing.

But honestly, Killua just wanted to enjoy his day out with Gon and _hopefully_ things wouldn’t get awkward.

In his coat pocket, Killua could feel his phone vibrating. He slipped it out and looked at the myriad of text messages received from Illumi. He deigned not to reply to any of them, merely glancing at them.

_You’re with that boy again, aren’t you?_

_Mother will be upset if she knows you’re out in this weather._

_Especially with such a careless boy._

“You know,” Gon mused, snapping Killua’s attention away from the phone in his hand. “Sometimes when you think I’m not looking, you get this expression on your face.”

Killua arched an eyebrow. “I do?”

“Yeah, like, it’s kind of sad, but not really… sad, exactly,” Gon replied, putting a finger to his chin thoughtfully. “I just kind of worry about it.”

Killua pursed his lips and dropped his eyes back down to his phone. “You worry about it?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

The fact that Gon was even asking that made Killua frown slightly. “I… well, I’m not sure. You just…”

“I just…?”

“I don’t know; I just didn’t expect it.”

“Killua, look at me,” Gon reached over and put a hand on top of the phone that Killua seemed so entranced with. “I worry about it because you’re my friend and you like to think that I don’t notice.”

Killua bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to gather up the courage to meet his eyes. They burned a brighter amber than he remembered and Gon didn’t blink at all for what felt like an eternity. Killua felt vulnerable, like he needed to hide, but he didn’t; he couldn’t even move his gaze away from his.

He wasn’t even sure if he was breathing.

“I…,” Killua trailed off, snapping out of his trance to stare off out the window. “That’s not true.”

“It isn’t?” Gon didn’t sound convinced.

“I don’t try to hide it,” Killua said defensively, crossing his arms before glancing over at him again.

“Then why—” Gon stopped talking when he noticed the phone in Killua’s hand light up and start vibrating obnoxiously. “Should you answer that?”

Killua glanced down at it and frowned upon reading the name that was shown, shaking his head and shoving the troublesome piece of technology into his pocket.

“It’s just my brother. He’s probably just wondering why I didn’t invite him along,” Killua replied smoothly.

“It wasn’t that one from the other day, was it?”

Killua laughed. “No, it’s Milluki.”

The name meant nothing to Gon. “Okay?”

Killua hopped on that chance to distract Gon away from the subject though. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you what you wanted to do today, Gon.”

“Oh! I don’t know. I mean, I didn’t think this far ahead.”

Killua smiled fondly, turning his eyes back out the window. He ignored the vibrating from his pocket.

_Not right now,_ Killua thought to himself. He could deal with the backlash of ignoring his brother later. He just wanted to have a normal day out with Gon. There wasn’t anything wrong with that.

Other than the fact that his mother would have a hernia and he knows that Illumi can’t keep a secret.

“…and then we could hit like, the little arcade! I think it’s back open,” Gon glanced over at Killua. “Are you listening?”

“What? Oh, yeah.”

Gon didn’t look very convinced, sighing a little before stretching his legs out. “We should have walked. This is taking forever,” he complained loudly.

“Yeah, well, you were the one who complained about not being able to keep his footing,” Killua accused.

“And you were the one saying that it was cold!”

“But I also could say it would be faster to walk,” Killua retorted.

“Hmph,” Gon crossed his arms petulantly, stamping his feet in front of him.

“What?”

“...we still should have walked.”

Killua huffed loudly. “Well, if you’re that determined to complain, we can get off at the next stop and _walk_ there.”

“Really?” Gon looked up and beamed like a child that was told they could go to an amusement park.

Killua thought that look was the most detestably adorable thing he’d ever seen. It shouldn’t be legal. “God—I guess,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Good, I’m getting really bored sitting here doing nothing but, you know, talking and stuff.” Gon was practically bouncing in his seat.

The sight was ridiculous and Killua hated how much he loved seeing it. He reached to their side and pulled the cord hanging above their heads, listening to the little chime that would alert the driver they needed to get off. Moments later the bus came to a slow, careful stop, mindful of the ice on the road. Killua and Gon made their ways to the front. Killua was the first out, thanking the driver as he stepped out of the bus.

"Gon, be careful getting out, it's very slippery--"

Gon bounded out of the bus, his foot hitting the ice at an angle wrong enough to send it flying from underneath him. He reached out, clutching to the nearest solid object, which happened to be Killua.

"Gon!" Killua exclaimed as he struggled to find his footing as Gon, albeit unintentionally, was dragging him down.

Gravity, as it always does, won the war. Killua fell on the ground with an ungraceful thump in the snow, bristling at the cold that now surrounded his ass.

"I'm sorry, Killua," Gon said to him, sitting back and scratching the back of his head.

"Ugh, can't you be careful? Idiot," Killua grumbled.

"I said I was sorry," Gon repeated childishly, slowly making his way to his feet. He looked down at Killua, thinking for only a moment before he offered him his hand.

Killua stared at it for half a beat. "I don't see why I should trust _you_ of all people to help me up." Despite his complaint, Killua took the offered hand. Gon pulled him up and kept him steady as Killua found his footing on the ice.

Gon smiled at him once he wasn't wobbling. "So, should we go to the arcade?" He asked.

"It's not like we have much better planned," Killua replied. He was about to shove his hands in his pockets when he noticed that Gon still held his right hand. He considered it a moment before he stuffed his free hand in his pocket and left the other where it was.

Gon seemed to have the same realization because he face flushed ever so slightly. "Let's go then?" He suggested, stepping over the curb onto the sidewalk. Killua followed, smiling slightly to himself.

Their walk was quiet, uncharacteristically so, but it was a comfortable silence accompanied only by the crunching of the snow beneath their feet. Killua didn't know what to think of... well, they were holding hands. It was that simple. But it felt so different from every other time they did it.

He wanted to laugh at himself. He was overthinking _handholding_ of all things. He glanced over at Gon, thinking for a moment. He moved his hand, slipping his fingers through his and holding his hand more tightly. He walked a little closer to Gon, smiling to himself. He gave Gon's hand a small squeeze.

Killua decided that he never wanted to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for the delay, but don't worry, this is one of my favorite things I've written. Even if I don't update for months, rest assured that I have no intention of abandoning my works.


End file.
